People you meet on the Road VI: Disappointment, Charlie Chaplin and Yogurt

chaplin

Whosoever said that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover was a hypocritical son of a bitch. Humans are programmed to desire, rarely to appreciate. We may not like this side of ourselves, but pretending to be immune to it altogether is silly. In all likelihood these pretensions to the moral high ground may even lessen your enjoyment of things, as you force yourself to do things you don’t particularly enjoy just to prove a point. Truth be told, the performance of an experience is almost as important as the content thereof.

To easily illustrate what I mean, I shall say that I recently had a wonderful meal at a Moroccan restaurant. Yet not content with this, I decided to top it all off with a dessert. Last time that I’d been there someone had talked me into trying the yogurt, and I must say that it was a delicious experience.

This time around though they lived up to the Moroccan lifestyle far too much, as empires rose and fell faster than the time it took for me to get my dessert. Eventually I decided that my sweet tooth wasn’t worth the wait; hence I stood up and went to the cashier to pay, rather than wait a second more. On the way there, you had to pass through the kitchen and I saw one of the cooks spooning out a yogurt from a shop container into a bowl.

When my waiter saw me attempting to leave he tried to get me to stay, and I did, but by then the spell was broken. I saw the farce for what it was, far from the homemade traditional yogurt I thought it was, it was simply a store bought one in a fancy presentation and with nuts and berries to further disguise it. This realization should not have altered my enjoyment of the final product in any shape or form. I had, after all, been more than satisfied with ordering it on other days. Yet it suddenly didn’t taste as well as it once did, because it left behind the bitter taste of lies.

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Why I approach Women on the Street

day-game-0

To question one’s purpose in life is about as normal of a human activity as one could possibly do. Recently, I had a long and very frank discussion with a girl about how one ought not to rush love and how the right partner will find you. She viewed it as unnatural and unhealthy to expend so much mental energy on women and approaching them. I naturally scoffed, tell that to my 19 year old kissless, hugless and virgin self, I thought to myself. Had I kept doing the exact same thing that I had been doing, I would’ve likely died alone, and very  frustrated.

In the words of Woody Allen “eighty percent of success is just showing up” – for years I’d failed to turn up and then one December I decided to show up. Life took a turn for the better after some initial road-bumps. I cannot say with certainty where I would’ve ended up had I not met people who helped me change lanes, but I’m sure that I wouldn’t have gone down a positive road.

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Healthy Drama – what all relationships need

 

healthy drama

Recently I had but a brief facebook spat, wherein a lady said that when a man is told by their partner that they should “do what they want” guys should do the exact opposite and not do so, and listen and do what the woman wants. I pointed out that this would essentially give women absolute control over anything that happens in the relationship, as women would ultimately have unlimited veto power. Not only would this permanently skew the relationship power dynamic to women fully, but a man would be at their beck and call.

I would argue, as a man who has interest in the task of attracting girls, that the fairer sex does not want this. They might think they do, but they don’t. Now, it might initially seem patronising for a man to seem to dictate what women want, but I’m not doing so in the slightest. You ask a fisherman how to fish, not the fish; as the fisherman is privy to patterns that the fish is not.

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Tinder Bender – Why you shouldn’t do online dating

logo tinder

Estimated Time: 3 minutes

Trapped in a small community during university time, where everyone is seeking to protect their social standing and hierarchy makes dating difficult. Nowadays I have no problem whatsoever with walking up to a woman and saying that she’s beautiful. Sometimes you get told to fuck off, sometimes you have the romance of a lifetime, but both situations have two things in common – they’re honest and quick.  You know what is the exact opposite? Tinder.

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Lusting for Love – Why People are Unhappy with their Love Life

Italian-romanticism

I’ve been reading Casanova’s autobiography as of late. It’s multiple volumes worth of his life adventures. In a lot of respects I admire him, as he was rarely afraid to stand against the tide and live the life he wanted. All too often we get caught on labels and forget to see things as they are.

We call him a womaniser yet simultaneously forget that he fell for a good number of the 133 girls he ended up with. I don’t think seduction is mutually exclusive with affection. There is a time and place for either one. Guys, contrary to all stereotype, get much too fixated in affection before sex. I think that’s our gender’s little secret. Whether we admit it or not, we can have a perfectly self sufficient sex life with the internet, we can see more naked women in an hour than the most depraved Roman Emperor in a lifetime. What we can’t get is affection, that is our true vice.

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Orgy Porgy – or why sex on tap may not be all its cracked up to be

lingerie

I used to believe that sex was the panacea to all my problems. I believed that once I got laid on a consistent basis, life would radically change. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I believed this with all my being. I used to be obsessed with this notion for years on end. If only…If only...That is until the last two years.

Truth is, sex is wonderful, it can and will, momentarily make all your problems seemingly shrivel into nothingness, but then reality will rear its ugly head sooner or later. We forget about all this though, and still parade it as the end all solution to absolutely everything.  I believe we’re a world culture obsessed with sex to the point of clinical disorder.

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Can’t we all just get along? – An open letter to both sexes

men

Estimated Time: 4 minutes

Dear Men and Women,

I cannot help but feel that over the last few years there’s been a progressive escalation of hatred to the opposite gender. On the one hand, we have the “feminazis,” who see any masculine trait as an affront to their personal wellbeing. On the other hand, we have the “manosphere,” which often preaches that all women are blood sucking harpies who’ll stab you in the heart if you ever take your eye off them. Caught in the crossfire of this drama, we have the average Joe and Jane.

crossfire
“Is it safe to come out? I took for cover once I heard someone talk about the patriarchy in the comment section”

Neither Jane or Joe genuinely sees the opposite gender as an enemy to be fought. Yet the problem is that our own gendered extremists are lashing out at the other side, which creates reactionary extremists, which will create even more extremists of the opposite gender, and it becomes a negative feedback loop. Let’s stop this before it gets out of hand.

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