Healthy Drama – what all relationships need

 

healthy drama

Recently I had but a brief facebook spat, wherein a lady said that when a man is told by their partner that they should “do what they want” guys should do the exact opposite and not do so, and listen and do what the woman wants. I pointed out that this would essentially give women absolute control over anything that happens in the relationship, as women would ultimately have unlimited veto power. Not only would this permanently skew the relationship power dynamic to women fully, but a man would be at their beck and call.

I would argue, as a man who has interest in the task of attracting girls, that the fairer sex does not want this. They might think they do, but they don’t. Now, it might initially seem patronising for a man to seem to dictate what women want, but I’m not doing so in the slightest. You ask a fisherman how to fish, not the fish; as the fisherman is privy to patterns that the fish is not.

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Tinder Bender – Why you shouldn’t do online dating

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Estimated Time: 3 minutes

Trapped in a small community during university time, where everyone is seeking to protect their social standing and hierarchy makes dating difficult. Nowadays I have no problem whatsoever with walking up to a woman and saying that she’s beautiful. Sometimes you get told to fuck off, sometimes you have the romance of a lifetime, but both situations have two things in common – they’re honest and quick.  You know what is the exact opposite? Tinder.

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Date Stalemate I – The Former Slave

Sometimes in the world of the bizarre and wonderful, you end up meeting the oddest people on dates. This ongoing segment will highlight some of the more interesting ones that I’ve had the pleasure, or displeasure of experiencing. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

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A year and a half ago, I had an internship in an investment bank in Madrid. I think they vastly overestimated my experience for I was given enormous responsibility, and I had never as much as been a burger flipper in McDonald’s. I ended up proving their trust to be wise in the end, and they thought my work to be of superb quality. Yet during those two months of working in Madrid, I was terrified that my boss would walk up to my desk one afternoon and angrily say that I was a fraud and a hack, that I should pack up my things and leave.

It’s with such preoccupations that I walked around the Puerta del Sol in Madrid – a beautiful esplanade at the heart of the former Spanish Empire. The sun was beaming on the colonial style buildings, but I had little mental real estate to spare to appreciate it. Facts, figures, and charts of the Spanish finance sector were being bounced around my brain. Nevertheless, as comedian Robin Williams put it, the problem is that man was given a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time.

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Lusting for Love – Why People are Unhappy with their Love Life

Italian-romanticism

I’ve been reading Casanova’s autobiography as of late. It’s multiple volumes worth of his life adventures. In a lot of respects I admire him, as he was rarely afraid to stand against the tide and live the life he wanted. All too often we get caught on labels and forget to see things as they are.

We call him a womaniser yet simultaneously forget that he fell for a good number of the 133 girls he ended up with. I don’t think seduction is mutually exclusive with affection. There is a time and place for either one. Guys, contrary to all stereotype, get much too fixated in affection before sex. I think that’s our gender’s little secret. Whether we admit it or not, we can have a perfectly self sufficient sex life with the internet, we can see more naked women in an hour than the most depraved Roman Emperor in a lifetime. What we can’t get is affection, that is our true vice.

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Orgy Porgy – or why sex on tap may not be all its cracked up to be

lingerie

I used to believe that sex was the panacea to all my problems. I believed that once I got laid on a consistent basis, life would radically change. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I believed this with all my being. I used to be obsessed with this notion for years on end. If only…If only...That is until the last two years.

Truth is, sex is wonderful, it can and will, momentarily make all your problems seemingly shrivel into nothingness, but then reality will rear its ugly head sooner or later. We forget about all this though, and still parade it as the end all solution to absolutely everything.  I believe we’re a world culture obsessed with sex to the point of clinical disorder.

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Can’t we all just get along? – An open letter to both sexes

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Estimated Time: 4 minutes

Dear Men and Women,

I cannot help but feel that over the last few years there’s been a progressive escalation of hatred to the opposite gender. On the one hand, we have the “feminazis,” who see any masculine trait as an affront to their personal wellbeing. On the other hand, we have the “manosphere,” which often preaches that all women are blood sucking harpies who’ll stab you in the heart if you ever take your eye off them. Caught in the crossfire of this drama, we have the average Joe and Jane.

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“Is it safe to come out? I took for cover once I heard someone talk about the patriarchy in the comment section”

Neither Jane or Joe genuinely sees the opposite gender as an enemy to be fought. Yet the problem is that our own gendered extremists are lashing out at the other side, which creates reactionary extremists, which will create even more extremists of the opposite gender, and it becomes a negative feedback loop. Let’s stop this before it gets out of hand.

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Lessons in Pop Culture II: Standup can teach you what women want

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Estimated Time: 3 minutes

Regarding Comedy and building connections in dating & life:

I have always had a very dark sense of humour, more often than not it got me into trouble. However, as of late I have realized that if you are assertive and authoritative enough, you can get away with murder when making jokes. You can say something that in other instances would get you slapped and they will love you all the more, it’s something I had yet to understand fully, but it yielded results so I didn’t question it.

That being said, it always bugged me that there were certain jokes which you cannot make under any situation, or you risk upsetting people – regardless of what your frame is. This haunted me until just now where I was watching an HBO special with multiple comedians discussing comedy, in it Chris Rock says that the key for a joke not to be evil is to be directed at people’s actions, not who they are.

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