Orgy Porgy – or why sex on tap may not be all its cracked up to be

lingerie

I used to believe that sex was the panacea to all my problems. I believed that once I got laid on a consistent basis, life would radically change. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I believed this with all my being. I used to be obsessed with this notion for years on end. If only…If only...That is until the last two years.

Truth is, sex is wonderful, it can and will, momentarily make all your problems seemingly shrivel into nothingness, but then reality will rear its ugly head sooner or later. We forget about all this though, and still parade it as the end all solution to absolutely everything.  I believe we’re a world culture obsessed with sex to the point of clinical disorder.

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That being said, I think there’s always room for dessert…

Sex is very much like food, the right dish at the right moment is an amazing experience that you cherish. Yet, even so, the only people who are obsessed with food are anorexics, and the morbidly obese. Speaking as a former morbidly obese man, I think we obsess over such matters because the world is a harsh place, it’ll beat you down and keep you there if you let it. As such, we instinctively grab onto anything that seems wholly good, and think anything worth doing is worth overdoing.

Sometimes in the process of doing so, we forget that there are consequences to what we do. I like the concept of karma, not the hippie kind, but the original philosophical concept. Take a stick, draw a line in the sand with it – that’s karma. Your actions have consequences, whether they’re good or bad, is wholly depending on the situation.

A month or two ago, I ended a very brief “relationship” with a girl that I met a couple of months ago. Quite frankly, we had little to nothing in common with each other, other than we loved sex. We had it anywhere you could possibly think: on the couch, on the floor, on the kitchen counter, against the wall, and every so often on the bed. For the duration of our “relationship” I essentially had sex on demand. Initially, it was very fun. Yet there came to be a time where I just resented her, as surprising as it is to hear. I just started massively disliking everything to do with her.

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“Oh god, not another text from her saying she’s horny. She’s sent 5 over the last two days”

I remember this one time, we were at it in full force, she was moaning, and I felt… nothing. Hell, I might have even felt a tinge of boredom and sadness, as I remembered times where I did feel something and this was just a crude parody of it. I never thought I’d experience such a bizarre situation, yet there I was having my teenage dream, and all I wanted is to just leave. I actually started making up excuses not to see her after a while; I much preferred being on my own than with her. Having said this,  a part of me wasn’t willing to let it go, as it felt that I’d regret throwing such a seemingly great deal away.

I mean, what sort of guy am I if I’m willing to throw away frequent no strings attached sex with free fancy dinners, booze and car rides to university? Had I told this to most people, my younger self included, they would’ve thought me insane.

I’ve come to the conclusion that whilst sex is very important, your emotional wellbeing comes first. Some people will pollute your life, if you let them. She was bitchy, she didn’t share any of the same thoughts or humour I have, and overall I don’t consider her that much of a good person. Such people are not worth having in your life in the long run. Fortunately, I ended it shortly thereafter, we parted on a good note, and thus there was no drama besides a bunch of text messages on her end, in the first few days after the fact. At this point, we no longer have any contact with each other, and it’s as if it never happened. Yet I cannot help but feeling that prolonging it as much as I did was a mistake…

Nevertheless, do not misconstrue what I have to say, go out there and meet people. Using this as an excuse not to get to know others is heinous and a massive disservice to yourself. As the Turkish proverb goes “one who has once burnt his tongue while drinking milk will blow to yoghurt before eating it,” let’s avoid such a situation. The advice I give is quite the contrary, go and explore the world. You will meet and end up with amazing people if you just go out. Every so often you might also end up with people who you then realise that you don’t quite click with. That’s fine as well, if you don’t let the situation’s inertia overtake you.

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“Funny story, originally you were supposed to be a one night stand”

I’ve met far too many men who were in my initial position, and then they are now celebrating several years of anniversary, despite not really liking the girl they’re with. My best advice is to simply move on, keep playing the game, the potential lack of sex and intimacy is not worth the psychological cost.This goes for the women in my audience as well. People are not worth keeping around, simply by virtue that you’ve been naked with each other. Those with which you click with, are worth having in your orbit, those who are not, are worth forgetting about.

I think we all too often make the mistake of thinking we’re a thirsty man in a desert, who just found a well;  we’re afraid to explore the surrounding area, as we don’t know whether there’s other wells and we conclude we could die in the process of trying to find them. Instead, we prefer to go for the sure thing, and in our eagerness to drink as much as we can, we drown ourselves.

Balance is the key to life, you have to know what causes your actions will have. If you do anything to excess, it’ll probably lead to your ruin. As a person in the desert, it is only natural to want to find water, by all means do so. But do not drown yourself in your eagerness, when you do find it. After a certain point, I think one ought to think about quality, rather than quantity.

I could, if I wanted, end in such a situation again. Yet, I didn’t truly enjoy it, beyond the first few times. If I’d realised what was beginning to happen, I would’ve been able to have a positive overall feeling about it in the end by ending it before it soured. Instead, I just came to resent the experience, as I never thought I was being fully appreciated and was essentially a sex object for her. 

Learning when a story ought to come to an end is a skill onto itself. It is on this note, my dear readers, that I leave you until next week.

Have a great time.

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5 thoughts on “Orgy Porgy – or why sex on tap may not be all its cracked up to be

    1. I used to be like that, at 20 I’d barely done little more than hug someone because I was too socially awkward. So I completely understand where you’re coming from. What I suggest you do is to find the root cause for why it is that you’re not getting people into your bed. If it’s confidence, then learn why it is that you’re unconfident and try to solve it. If it’s because you’re socially awkward, try learning the skills of socialising (did so myself, if you’re curious about how I did it, I wrote an article a couple of weeks ago “How to go from shy to smooth – a personal story” it might push you in the right direction…).

      At the end of the day, sex is very important but not the most important thing. Let me know if I can be of any help =)

      Like

  1. Pingback: The Downside of Having a Bottom Bitch and the Mambo theory | Experiment&Standardize

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